Let me explain.
Word from the pediatrician today:
Jessica's heart looked larger than normal in her last chest x-ray. Apparently, the pediatricians working with her have ruled out all these other possibilities of why Jessie has respiratory issues. Today, Jessica had an echocardigram (basically an ultrasound of her heart) because the pediatricians wanted to make sure that her respiratory problems were not symptoms of heart problems. So, the ultrasound of the heart.
Possible outcomes of echocardiogram:
Thankfully, her heart (for the most part) looks great. "For the most part" relates to this: while in the womb, there are holes in the heart that allow for fetus circulation. These close up by the time the baby is born and voila! you have a beautiful baby heart. Preemies, because they are early, sometimes still have those holes in their hearts that have not closed all the way. Most of the time (in fact, usually) the heart matures as the infant grows and the holes close up. Sweet little Jessica has some of those holes that will need to mature and close up. Also, one of the flaps in her heart does not close all the way and blood is shunting across places a little. The doctor said it was something that should resolve itself as Jess gets older and her sweet little preemature body matures. If not, the symptoms will be easily identified early on and we will be able to do something about it. I'm not sure what that something is, but I'm not going to stress about it. The doctor also said, and I quote, "Her pulse is really good. In fact, I'm tickled about how well everything else with her heart is." YEA!!!!
Since her echocardiogram came back so positive, long and short of it is, JESSICA IS FINALLY COMING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jer and I are doing a room-in at the hospital tonight. Basically that means that we have Jessica with us in a room with her on all of her monitors that she will be hooked up to at home. The nurses are here if we need them but this is our opportunity to "practice" and get comfortable with all the monitors. So far (at 2:55am) it is going fantastic! She is an angel.
We met with a representative (Lance) from the Home Health Care company that will be supplying the oxygen tanks, tubes, and monitors that Jessica will be hooked up to at home. Jer and I learned tonight how to change her tubes, read the monitors, and set up her oxygen tanks. She will have a big one at home that will have enough oxygen to last for several weeks. She will also have 2 portable tanks that will last around 40 hours each. The portable tanks are in bags that we put over our shoulders and carry around with us/her. When Jess is hooked up to the big tanks she will be on a 60ft. long oxygen tube so we can take her all around the house. We will just need to be careful of the tube and not stepping on it, pinching it, etc.
Everything is so crazy and oddly enough so perfect. I wrote a few days ago that I wasn't sure what I am supposed to learn from all of this. With help from the Lord, I think I have begun to see one of the lessons I am supposed to learn. I have had no control over this entire situation. From my water breaking, to not dilating super fast, to dilating from a 3 to a 10 within 2 hours, to Jessica's respiratory issues, to her weight loss and then gain, to her jaundice, to her potential heart problems, to her oxygen at home, etc...all I had control over was how I reacted to things. At some points I was upset and melting down. At others I was full of optimism and felt like I could handle the world. Now, a small part of that is probably relating to after-birth hormones (instead of P.M.S. my mom called it P.P.P.P.M.M.M.M.S.S.S.S....) but really my reactions were the one thing I could control. Also, things really are on the Lord's timetable. I honestly thought Jess would be home by Wednesday or Thursday. Who, other than the Lord, knew that it would be a full week?
Throughout all of this (and there is still more to come) I have begun to learn how to appreciate where I am at. What I am doing. Everytime I hold my perfect, precious, beautiful daughter I love it. I feel her soft skin. I look at her eyes. I laugh at every new thing she does. I count her toes. I stroke her fingers. I kiss her cheeks. I marvel at who she is and where she came from. The moments I have been able to spend a few moments alone with my husband I realize all over how much I love him and why. When I have knelt down to pray (ok - I'm still so swollen that it is more like 'when I sit down to pray...') I have poured my heart out to my Father in Heaven. I have realized what a precious gift prayer really is. I have come to value the scriptures more. So many things have been put into perspective.
What a blessing and a gift this crazy week has been. I know that I am and will be a better mother, wife, daughter, friend, teacher, person because of all of this. My mother-in-law, at Christmas, said that this will be an interesting year full of growth. Wow was she right! I knew she would be, I just did not expect her to be so right so fast! :) She's a pretty neat lady.
I have a testimony of a Father in Heaven who LOVES His children. He loves me. He loves my husband. He loves my daughter. I have no doubts. I look at Jessica and know that she can do whatever she puts her mind to in this life. She has limitless potential. I believe in her ability to do good. Heavenly Father looks at each and everyone of His children and sees the same thing. Only he has perfect vision so He REALLY knows and sees all of us. Amazing. What a beautiful miracle.
Side note about Amy Workman (the mother):
I like to know all the options. All the "what ifs" ...if you will. So, Jer (who was with Jess when the doctor was there) got all the possible scenarios relating to the outcome of the echocardiogram. Once I know all the options, I tend to freak out.
I like to know all the options. All the "what ifs" ...if you will. So, Jer (who was with Jess when the doctor was there) got all the possible scenarios relating to the outcome of the echocardiogram. Once I know all the options, I tend to freak out.
Possible outcomes of echocardiogram:
- Best case scenario - nothing. Heart is healthy and her respiratory symptoms are normal preemie issues.
- Middle case scenario - minor heart issues and she is put on daily medication.
- Worst case scenario - definite heart problems that result in surgery
Thankfully, her heart (for the most part) looks great. "For the most part" relates to this: while in the womb, there are holes in the heart that allow for fetus circulation. These close up by the time the baby is born and voila! you have a beautiful baby heart. Preemies, because they are early, sometimes still have those holes in their hearts that have not closed all the way. Most of the time (in fact, usually) the heart matures as the infant grows and the holes close up. Sweet little Jessica has some of those holes that will need to mature and close up. Also, one of the flaps in her heart does not close all the way and blood is shunting across places a little. The doctor said it was something that should resolve itself as Jess gets older and her sweet little preemature body matures. If not, the symptoms will be easily identified early on and we will be able to do something about it. I'm not sure what that something is, but I'm not going to stress about it. The doctor also said, and I quote, "Her pulse is really good. In fact, I'm tickled about how well everything else with her heart is." YEA!!!!
Since her echocardiogram came back so positive, long and short of it is, JESSICA IS FINALLY COMING HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jer and I are doing a room-in at the hospital tonight. Basically that means that we have Jessica with us in a room with her on all of her monitors that she will be hooked up to at home. The nurses are here if we need them but this is our opportunity to "practice" and get comfortable with all the monitors. So far (at 2:55am) it is going fantastic! She is an angel.
We met with a representative (Lance) from the Home Health Care company that will be supplying the oxygen tanks, tubes, and monitors that Jessica will be hooked up to at home. Jer and I learned tonight how to change her tubes, read the monitors, and set up her oxygen tanks. She will have a big one at home that will have enough oxygen to last for several weeks. She will also have 2 portable tanks that will last around 40 hours each. The portable tanks are in bags that we put over our shoulders and carry around with us/her. When Jess is hooked up to the big tanks she will be on a 60ft. long oxygen tube so we can take her all around the house. We will just need to be careful of the tube and not stepping on it, pinching it, etc.
Everything is so crazy and oddly enough so perfect. I wrote a few days ago that I wasn't sure what I am supposed to learn from all of this. With help from the Lord, I think I have begun to see one of the lessons I am supposed to learn. I have had no control over this entire situation. From my water breaking, to not dilating super fast, to dilating from a 3 to a 10 within 2 hours, to Jessica's respiratory issues, to her weight loss and then gain, to her jaundice, to her potential heart problems, to her oxygen at home, etc...all I had control over was how I reacted to things. At some points I was upset and melting down. At others I was full of optimism and felt like I could handle the world. Now, a small part of that is probably relating to after-birth hormones (instead of P.M.S. my mom called it P.P.P.P.M.M.M.M.S.S.S.S....) but really my reactions were the one thing I could control. Also, things really are on the Lord's timetable. I honestly thought Jess would be home by Wednesday or Thursday. Who, other than the Lord, knew that it would be a full week?
Throughout all of this (and there is still more to come) I have begun to learn how to appreciate where I am at. What I am doing. Everytime I hold my perfect, precious, beautiful daughter I love it. I feel her soft skin. I look at her eyes. I laugh at every new thing she does. I count her toes. I stroke her fingers. I kiss her cheeks. I marvel at who she is and where she came from. The moments I have been able to spend a few moments alone with my husband I realize all over how much I love him and why. When I have knelt down to pray (ok - I'm still so swollen that it is more like 'when I sit down to pray...') I have poured my heart out to my Father in Heaven. I have realized what a precious gift prayer really is. I have come to value the scriptures more. So many things have been put into perspective.
What a blessing and a gift this crazy week has been. I know that I am and will be a better mother, wife, daughter, friend, teacher, person because of all of this. My mother-in-law, at Christmas, said that this will be an interesting year full of growth. Wow was she right! I knew she would be, I just did not expect her to be so right so fast! :) She's a pretty neat lady.
I have a testimony of a Father in Heaven who LOVES His children. He loves me. He loves my husband. He loves my daughter. I have no doubts. I look at Jessica and know that she can do whatever she puts her mind to in this life. She has limitless potential. I believe in her ability to do good. Heavenly Father looks at each and everyone of His children and sees the same thing. Only he has perfect vision so He REALLY knows and sees all of us. Amazing. What a beautiful miracle.
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